I am lucky to be a person that immediately sees the good in a breakup and wishes their Ex all the success and happiness in the world… I’m just kidding; I’m pretty much a basketcase until I’m ready to let it go. There are of course different stages of a breakup, and for me it went, denial, sadness, anger, acceptance and rebounding.
- Denial
- Pretend the breakup isn’t actually happening
- Tell only close select friends that the breakup has occurred
- Tell yourself that he will change his mind
- Talk about it endlessly with close friends trying to figure when he will call and apologize
- Leave all pictures, facebook and desk photos intact
- Sadness
- Cry
- Change profile picture and take down desk photo
- Cry more, but this time awkwardly in public
- Stare at phone, mentally willing him to text you
- Don’t eat, then finally eat and demolish entire veggie party platter
- Listen to all the songs that remind you of the relationship
- Anger
- Talk about how he never appreciated you
- Drink prosecco to try to feel fabulous
- After too much prosecco, passive aggressively ‘like’ his changed profile photo
- After he unfriends you, send him insane text messages channeling all the rage of 1,000 feminists.
- Angry cry
- Feel like you could be heading for your own episode of Dateline
- Acceptance
- Drink Bailey’s with coffee
- Have sense of inner calm
- Laugh about insane text messages
- Buy new Taylor Swift album and listen to it on repeat
- Get asked by neighbour to “please keep it down” while jamming to Taylor Swift at 8am.
- Inform neighbour of the circumstances surrounding the breakup
- Get blessing from neighbour to continue to sing loudly
- Rebounding
- Inform little black book of newly single status
- Book girls getaway at fancy hotel
- Find clothing previously deemed ‘too low cut’ to be acceptable
- Rock red lipstick
- Accidentally get red lipstick on fingers and then wipe hands on white shirt thinking it was white napkin
- Move on