I was actually hesitant to accept Brent’s initial invitation for our first date, to be fair I was confused if it was even an actual date. Our work had brought us together on a project and afterwards he ended up emailing me to see if I wanted to go for drinks sometime. Since he picked a Saturday night, I felt safe enough to assume it was a date and not a casual ‘business drink’. A few months earlier things had ended (not well) with a man that I quite liked, and the dates I had been on since hadn’t been great (I’m positive one guy was totally high during our date). So I wasn’t holding my breath for anything special.
The reason I stuck things out for 3 months with Brent was because he showed so much promise at the beginning, but especially on our first date. He let me pick where I wanted to go for drinks, so I picked my go-to after work spot, which is an oyster bar. I didn’t think twice about it until I showed up 10 minutes late and he had thoughtfully ordered a tray of oysters for us – I’m allergic to shellfish (my bad). Even though I told him I was fine without food he insisted on ordering something that I could eat.
During the date I told him that I’m not sure how I’ll ever be able to live with someone again after living on my own for so long. I was very concerned about having to use cutlery at home when I ate, and what would happen to my nightly lip-syncing performances of 90’s hits (fyi – tonight was Mariah’s classic, Always Be My Baby). He looked me straight in the eyes and said; “the right person will never let you change that.” And then followed it up with; “we’re going to go out again, and the next time we go out I want to hear about you. Not about your work, not about your friends, I want to learn about you.” Then he drove me home and waited until I got in the door before he drove away (a sure sign that he didn’t want me to be attacked before he got a second date *bonus*).
As we continued to see each other he picked up on my favorite habit of seeing how uncomfortable I can make a situation with sarcasm and oversharing, and was happy to keep me on my toes. I’m not even sure what date it was but we had gone back to his place after dinner. I had decided to wear nylons that had black lines running up the back of the legs. He leaned towards me and said; “your nylons are very sexy.” In my most seductive voice I replied back; “thanks, they’re control top…” Not missing a beat or breaking character he said “that’s hot… and is this a pleather skirt? You’re spoiling me tonight.” I started cracking up after that.
On a different occasion we had come up with an inside joke about pineapples (best not to ask). To keep the joke going I had stopped into the grocery store so I could text him a picture to show him they were on sale. A few days later I was watching his tv show and he actually managed to work the word ‘pineapple’ into the conversation with his co-host. He also mentioned it on the show’s Twitter for good measure in case I wasn’t watching.
So it was the little things that kept me around for 3 months, because the little things made me smile in the middle of a work day. The little things also make it a bit easier to deal with the big thing that was being ignored, “the keyboardist”.