When “playing crazy” on a date goes wrong…

I was on a date recently, and I will begin by saying there was nothing terribly wrong with this guy, but he was nowhere close to my type. This was a setup from a mutual friend, and although I generally don’t agree to setups, he sounded very promising.
About 20minutes into the date I could tell there wouldn’t be a second date. To avoid having to turn him down later, when he would inevitably phone for the second date, I decided to have some fun to make sure he wouldn’t want a second date with me.
I’m a very convincing person, it’s not by accident I received a 93% in Acting in grade 12. So I put on my serious face over the beautiful candlelit table, looked him right in the eye and asked “Are you worried about dying alone? I am. I mean not totally alone, I’ll have cats, but you know what I mean?” He told me he was sure I wont die alone (obviously I wont, he may though) and politely changed the topic.
He started telling me how he pays off his credit card statement in full every month because it’s very important. So I told him that I loooove to shop, uncontrollably, all the time. I told him I max out my credit cards but its ok, because they just keep increasing my limit. He asked if I was a “minimum payment” type. To which I answered “yes, well I certainly try, but I always seem to spend the money on alcohol before I can pay my Visa.” Then tilted my head to the left and smiled. He seemed a little confused and asked if I drank a lot; “oh, well, no, I wouldn’t say a lot, I mean I blackout a lot, but I only drink every weekend.”
God bless him, trying again to change the topic, he asked what my favorite car is. “I don’t like cars. I like shoes.” So he asked what my favorite shoe is. At this point I leaned in, with a very serious look on my face and whispered “I can’t tell you, because the other shoes will get jealous.” Then I flared my eyes.
Here’s where “playing crazy” goes wrong; he wasn’t running for the hills, in fact, he was having a good time. Dinner was over and I was trying to make my polite exit, he said he wanted to walk me home; I declined and said I was going to the drug store first. He asked if he could come with me… I told him no. So when I tried to say goodbye to him at the drug store, he told me he would wait outside for me until I finished shopping. This is where London Drugs failed me, because they had no other exit that I could use that wouldn’t set off the fire alarm. And so, indeed he was still waiting for me outside, and even though I told him several times that it was not necessary for him to walk me home, he did anyway. While walking he said “don’t you feel so much safer with me?” the answer was no, I felt safer with my personal alarm. But I told him “yes, because the attackers would go for you first, so I would have time to get away.” I got home, patted him on the shoulder and ran inside.
Not only did I get a text message that same night saying what wonderful company I was, and that he wanted to hang out again that weekend, but he also called me on Sunday evening.
Sometimes, despite one’s best efforts to sabotage a date; having to reject someone is inevitable.


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