A few years ago I was being heavily pursued by a man that had a girlfriend. He had been with his girlfriend for 3 years, she was beautiful, yet he kept asking me out. He would phone me at all the time just to talk, and I would ask him where his girlfriend was. Eventually I just stopped picking up his calls and he developed a healthy relationship with my answering machine. It went a little something like this;
“You’ve reached Becca; sorry I couldn’t answer your call (no I wasn’t), please leave a message.”
“Hey, it’s Sam, just wondering what you’re doing. Call me back.” (I’m avoiding you)
“Hey, I’m just going to get dinner, do you want to come? Call me back.” (nope)
“Hey, I’m at Earls if you want to come meet me.” (no chance)
“I’m just leaving Earls, wanted to let you know in case you were on your way down here, I’ll wait 10 more minutes just in case.” (please hold your breath)
“We must have missed each other, but give me a call, we can hang out tomorrow if you’re free.” (haha, oook. I’d rather take up with the homeless man that lives in the dumpster. I believe his name is Oscar)
THIS RECIPIENT’S VOICEMAIL INBOX IS FULL (thank god)
I couldn’t understand why he was turning borderline Fatal Attraction when he was the one that had a girlfriend. I was talking to my friend Nikki about it and she simply said that he’s a “monkey”. I asked her to please elaborate.
A “monkey” is someone who won’t get rid of their boyfriend or girlfriend, even though they don’t want to be with them anymore, that is until they’re sure they have another one lined up to take that persons place. Like a monkey won’t let go of one branch until he’s sure he has another branch in his other hand to swing to.
I’ve never had anything make more sense to me. After she said that I’ve noticed many other people who display this same behavior (not to the same stalkerish degree as Sam) but it’s definitely there.
So I have to ask; is it really that scary for some people to be alone? Is it worth staying with someone you’re no longer interested in just because it’s become comfortable? If I don’t have those feelings for someone anymore, staying with them is the last thing that I’m going to do.
And please, you tell me you’ll leave your girlfriend for me (that’s major disrespect to the girlfriend). What makes me think you won’t be telling another girl the same thing once we’re together?
Let go of the branch first and maybe then we’ll talk.